Our Girl

…My friends at work graciously offered to throw me a shower at work because we had matched with a Momma due with a girl and were swimming in bins of boy clothes and blue blankets at home. Although there are no guarantees in adoption and we may have not brought home a baby girl if this she chose to parent, I accepted and scheduled the shower right away. We had 5 weeks to prepare and this momma could deliver early. The morning of the shower, I got a call, A was in labor and wanted us to head to the hospital.

I called Evan, we both left work and headed for the hospital. My heart was racing with excitement and nervousness, the shower would have to wait! We arrived at the hospital and waited. She had been rushed back for an emergency C-Section. We soon heard the music indicating a sweet baby had just entered the world. We couldn’t help but wonder if that was her. Hours went by as A recovered from the C-Section and baby girl was taken to the NICU. We finally got the go ahead to meet the baby. We walked back, her tiny body hooked up to an IV and monitors. She was tiny. Tiny and beautiful with dark hair and dark eyes. This little lady had been through so much, but she was absolute perfection and the love was instant. We finally got the chance to meet A, she was more beautiful than the one picture we had, even after what she had endured. Our meeting was brief as she rested, but good. Our love for her was instant, too.

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The next 5 weeks were spent in the NICU as baby girl was weaned off drugs she was exposed to in utero and grew outside the womb during the time she should have still be inside. It was tough and exhausting to say the least, but the nurses and doctors were angels on earth. Our families and friends stepped up and helped in ways we couldn’t have imagined. God knew we could handle this and we did. During our time there, the days seemed so long and our time there neverending, but we were discharged and drove home with our girl.  Our daughter has my middle name and her birth mother’s middle name and she grows more beautiful and stronger each day. Her smile is contagious and she is one of the happiest babies I have ever met. This girl perseveres and will do great things. She and her brother may share no DNA, but the love is strong and their bond even stronger. A has yet to meet her birth mom, but she wants A to see the best version of her. Our adoption is very open and we talk often. The love we have for her grows as our bond does. Don’t ever let the picture of what you think is supposed to be get in the way of what could be. Our second adoption was nothing we could have predicted, but everything it should be.

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No Two Paths Are the Same

Ok, so apparently, blogging is not my strong suit. I don’t feel like I have much profound to say any way, so if you’re reading this, thanks! However, I tend to randomly get the urge to share my thoughts and here we are. Today is my first Mother’s Day with our girl (more on that in a sec), and here I am, a proud Momma of two! If you had told me in 2011 or 2012 this is where I’d be, I wouldn’t have believed you. I had no idea the heartache and oh, the joy to come! Let me tell you now though, the first woman, or women, to come to mind is not myself but the two that gave my children life. I first wake up thinking about the two women who made me a mother. The sacrifice and the heartache they endure for their babies, something I can never repay and will never forget. We share a bond of motherhood over our babies that goes on forever. Hence the name of this blog, “Lives Forever Intertwined”, because adoption is just that. The love for these women is something real and organic and my desire for our babies to know them is strong!

When my husband and I started the adoption process again, I had a feeling the journey would be wildy different and it was. I think we both assumed we would take the exact same path and everything would fall into place. You can read about our first journey here: God is in the Details

However, nothing was much the same, but that’s ok! In January 2016, we decided to sign up with a local agency who does not allow you to sign up with other agencies at the same time and we paid money up front. All things we said we wouldn’t do. The decision did not come lightly, in fact, I reached out to our last agency and our last home study provider, even getting fingerprints and background checks done super early. We felt led  to go against what we felt was the “right path” i.e. the easiest and most comfortable, trusting God knew what was to come and what we could handle. Again, finances were a huge worry, but my heart said jump and my husband reluctantly followed. We attended their information meeting in February and officially signed on. Our home study was completed in April and we were an waiting family the first week in May.

The wait felt much more difficult this time. I was more than ready to match with an amazing expectant mother and anticipate the birth of a baby. The unknown was much more stressful, maybe because we have been through it before. We started to get information on mommas, and I truly wanted to say yes to several, but my husband was the logical one and we passed. I had a feeling about the baby we would be matched with, I could picture her in my head, and always felt it would be a girl. So very silly, right?! We got a situation while just arriving in Florida to see our son’s Birth Mother and brother. I could have sworn this was the one, I got a feeling, a strong feeling about it. My husband was more hesistant and needed to think. We ultimately said no, but it was not easy for me. A wise friend told me that maybe I should stop praying for a “sign”, but pray instead that my husband receives it instead, that he would know in his heart when it was right. BLOWN.AWAY. Though I still felt I was letting go of a potential match, I looked forward. In August, we got information on an expectant mother who would be looking at profiles the next day, they needed know right away if we wanted to be shown. I became excited and forwarded the information to my husband. Then I waited. That morning, he told me he felt good about presenting to this Momma and I emailed the agency to let them know we would present. Again, I compared the situation to our son’s adoption, and anticipated a quick reply. This was not the case, we waited to hear, and waited some more for reasons I cannot disclose, not my story to tell. Finally I got a text, she had chosen us! We had 5 weeks to prepare, or so we thought….